Christmas Tree 2010

Our Christmas tree experience went a little smoother than the Christmas tree debacle of 2009. Or should I say it started off smoother.  We didn't tie our door shuts, we didn't pick a tree with a huge split up the middle and made it home in one piece.  Andrew was the "declarer" of when we could decorate the tree.  He thought that the branches would fall so he suggested we wait one more day.  Well finally after 6 days he went to go put the lights on the tree and and all of the needles fell off the bottom branches.  We called Lowes and they said bring it back.  Argh.....we were in the same place as last year.  How the heck do you bring a real Christmas tree back?

So we weren't able to take the tree back till the following night.   We had a baby shower that day so after we came home we reassessed the tree. Seriously we hemmed and hawed for a good two hours.  We consulted Christmas tree "experts", looked online, shook the tree, pulled at its branches, assessed its water intake, etc.  We went through hypothetical scenarios......what about if we get the tree to Lowes and they say it isn't dead?"  What about if we just leave the tree and all of the needles fall off before Christmas?  What about if we just re-cut the bottom of the tree? Andrew thought the tree wasn't taking water due to an improper cut.and suggested buying a hand saw.  He thought he would take the tree down and recut the trunk....in the LIVING ROOM.  I had to put my foot down on that one. So like I said we went back and forth and back and forth.

Finally we decided to just keep the tree and decorate it.  We tried to put the lights on and when I say "we" I mean Andrew.   Apparently in Andrew's family, "the dad" would put the lights on the tree and then the next day the family would decorate it.  Yup.....the apple doesn't fall from the tree.  So the lighting  of the tree is a whole process in itself and the entire time he compared this tree to last years tree and to the "tree that ultimately got away".

Andrew-   "This tree sucks."  "I knew we should stayed away from the Douglas fir."  "7ft ha more like 6ft....last year the tree was so much bigger." Squint test. "Remember I couldn't even put the lights around it myself."  "See a needle fell off....I think it dead." Squint test.  "I know what is going to happen.....we are going to wake up on Christmas and there isn't going to be any needles left."  Squint test.  "3 strands of light.......this tree only used 3 strands of light.  Last year we used 4 strands."  Squint test.

This nonsense went on for a good hour.  Finally I said enough is enough and that the fun was being sucked out of putting up the Christmas tree.  After that he became "one" with the tree and once it was decorated even gave it a compliment.  You would have thought we were decorating the tree on the white house lawn.

**********Last year was the first time I have ever heard of the "squint test".   For any one who doesn't know what the squint test consists of, according to Wikipedia: "squinting" reveals any holes or areas that are not properly lighted to determine whether it has the desired look and effect.