3+1=4

I have nicknamed you bean.  Oh my little bean, you have given me a run for my money.  For the last 7 weeks I have thrown up, been constantly nauseous, had aversions and have felt like I have been run over by a bus.  I just asked your dad and he said I was the same with Brayson. Funny how as soon as you arrive in my arms it will all be a distant memory.  I hit 13 weeks and couple of days ago and i feel like a million dollars. I am so thankful to feel better and to start to feel you grow. I hope you received enough nourishment. I will be the first to admit I definitely didn’t make the best choices and couldn’t stomach the thought of swallowing vitamins. The only thing that made me feel better was eating. So that’s what I did and we ate a lot of junk!!

Your story starts a little different that your brothers. It took us a long time to get pregnant with Brayson. We knew we wanted to expand our family but was anticipating it could take a long time. I didn’t want to wait to long because I didn’t want to be 40 and pregnant. Needless to say we were shocked when we found out we were pregnant with little effort/planning/etc.  I was super tired, a couple days late and decided to take a pregnancy test. I was expecting it to be negative just like all the other pregnancy tests I have taken in my life.  To my surprise it was very positive. Your dad was out of town so I kept the secret, went out and bought a big brother shirt and counted the seconds till he got home to share the news. Brayson was wearing his shirt and I gave him the pregnancy test. He waddles over to your dad and he put the test in his mouth (gross).  Like I said he was shocked.

For 7 weeks he has changed every dirty diaper of your brothers.  Ha ha. I can’t drink coffee, I can finally smell it, mac and cheese grosses me out. I have been very hungry but not for anything specific. We saw you early because we wanted to make sure there wasn’t two. The second US at 11 weeks you had your little feet crossed,  just like my Grams used to sit, my dad sits and Brayson does too.  Life is definitely busier this time around. We are chasing around a 1.5 year old.

Like I said your story is different but you are just as important. You are what completes our family.  I  can’t wait to continue to feel you grow in my belly, meet you at the birth and see if you are girl or a boy. (I have a feeling you are a boy.) I just pray for healthy and happy. As a older parent, I am well aware of how fast it all goes and I have been cognitive to not wish the days away or fast forward to an easier time. What I didn’t know was how much I would forget along the way. Details I swore I would remember forever have sadly faded away and difficult to recall.  This time I will not rely solely on my memory and will try to capture the moments: the good, the bad and mundane.  I love you bean. I am so excited, proud and honored to be your mama.