Liar liar pants on fire

So before I even met Andrew I knew he chewed.  Ever since we started dating he was "quitting".  Actually I was under the impression that he quit based on him telling me that he had indeed quit chewing.  Throughout our engagement I would find remnants of "chew" and was told it was dirt, must have been a friends, the cat brought in dirt, flat out denial, etc.  I even found two tins dated a month prior and was told that it must have been from before.  The whole born on date was the evidence that I finally needed or so I thought.  He still denied denied denied.

One day a month before we got married I found cold hard evidence.  I came into the house and there was a cup.......a spit cup.......caught him red handed.  We have had long drawn out fights about this nasty disgusting habit. Me- how I don't want to be with someone that chews and him that he is really trying to "quit".  Even three years later.  I guess a person can only call wolf so many times before you really just stop believing them.

So last week we had a talk about it because once again I found remnants in the bathroom and once again they weren't his but he did admit to chewing but never at home. So I decided to find something that would make him really stop.  I thought I had it......you see Andrew wants a baby like yesterday.  So I did what any sweet manipulating wife would do......I said I am not having babies until he is really done chewing.....for real.  I may even need him take a lie detector test (ha ha ha) because surprise surprise I don't believe him. I feel that I am asking a reasonable request because my Grandma was asking my Grandpa to quit smoking even the day he died of guess what?  Yup.....lung cancer.  Plus don't you just know how disgusting chewing is and how bad it is for you.  Ugh that would be reason enough for me to quit plus that whole thing about not losing my jaw to cancer but nope not my sweetie.

So I thought that whole baby thing really inspired him to quit for real.  Imagine my surprise when 1 week later I was working out on the bedroom floor and I see remnants.,.........I picked them all up and guess what they weren't his.......must be "dirt". 

Tobacco looking dirt

So that was from March............

There has been a couple of other times since March that I have had suspicion.  One where he swore he quit,  told me to my face that he hadn't chewed in months and the next day I went into his car and found hard evidence.......the spit cup.

"Coffee grounds" I found in his car

So needless to say it is an ongoing battle.   The thing is from the day I met Andrew I told him I had no desire to be with something who chewed, smoked, drugs, etc.  I wouldn't have started dating him if I knew he wasn't going to quit like he promised and boy that is hard because I love the guy.   I know I am so mean and it is a hard habit to break, yada yada yada. I don't want you to think I just sit and nag about it all day.  I hardly ever bring it up and it isn't like I am looking for evidence I just seem to find it.   Maybe it bothers me so much because I am in the health care field and see it on a daily basis.  Last week I had a couple in the ER she was 55 and couldn't breathe.  I was asking about her history and if she smoked and she said yes a pack a day and her husband chimed in and said, "yeah she has been promising she would quit since the day we got married."  My goodness I don't want that to be me.

This weekend we were in Wellsville and everyone chews there.  At the end of the vacation I asked in front of his mom (the more nagging the better right) if he chewed while he was there.  "Nope.  Wow those balloons sure are cool." "Are you sure you didn't chew?"  Andrew would say a little louder, "No I didn't chew.....not one.  Look at the grass......so green."  It was your classic change the subject so I dropped it for the rest of the trip.  I reminded him about not starting to have kids until he was done chewing and he assured me he was done and chew free.  So imagine our surprise when we were looking through the pictures and then we started noticing pictures of leaves, toes, ears, etc.  Our little nephew took the camera and look what he captured.........

Looks just like a big ole dip ey?  Don't worry, Andrew assures me it isn't.......he just has his cheeks puffed out.  Now I was born, but it didn't happen to be yesterday.  After this type of evidence he still insisted that he didn't chew over the weekend.  That he would NEVER chew around his little nephew Andrew.  Lying about chewing is a thousand times worse than chewing and is detrimental to a relationship.    Can someone please reiterate this to him?  So the next morning he sent me a text and confessed to chewing but said that he wasn't chewing in the photo above.  The one time he actually chewed was when he and Ryan went to the taxidermist.  I said, "taxidermist?  Little Andrew went with you guys, you said last night you would never chew in front of him."  Well......well......well he doesn't know what I am doing.  Can you say liar liar pants on fire? 

So saying I wouldn't date him didn't work, threatening to not marry him didn't work, threatening to not change my name didn't work, not having babies till he is done didn't work, maybe blogging humiliation will work?