Date Night

Last week I decided to surprise Andrew and schedule a "couple massag"e for us.  We had one on our honeymoon and loved it.  Lets just say couple massages are a lot different in Costa Rica than they are at Massage Envy. 

When I scheduled the appointment they only had a male and female masseuse available.  When I told Andrew that tid bit of info he requested the female.  We ended up arriving to our appointment a couple of minutes late due to an error on my part.  I didn't really feel like I had to much room to complain when  two male masseuses walked out. They did the classic bait and switch.  Andrew immediately gave me the "what the hell did you get us into" look. 

So my masseuse was 5'4 and pushing a good 350lb and Andrews was gay with a thick Boston accent.   I knew Andrew was not super duper happy about receiving a massage from a guy and then I started hearing the uncomfortable clearing of his throat.   His masseuse kept saying, "that's it big boy......push......almost there......breathe........wow you're so tight."  I was wondering what the hell was going on and snuck a couple of peeks and saw Andrew contorted in all kinds of positions.  I think at one point his leg was lifted over his head.  Actually it looked a lot like the picture below. 

  I felt like I was getting a massage from some guy off the street.  You know that karate chopping that you see on the movies.............yeah he was doing that to me.

Elbows, fists........this guys used it all.  My guy was huffing and puffing, Andrew was doing the uncomfortable clearing of his throat and Boston massuse was constantly yelling "thata boy......deeper......breathe."  At this point I lifted my head to look for the camera.   We had to be on, "Smile, you're on candid camera"  or "Punked" or something.  Nope it was just your regular couple massage at Massage Envy.  Needless to say it wasn't the most relaxing date night but it is definiltely one I will be chuckling about for a long time.