Things not to say

For our trip I decided to leave my infamous pink jacket at home considering the two times I have been here I have worn it day and night…………Literally. So I got a new green "bomber" jacket. We were standing in line to board the plane and Andrew says I like your jacket. I proceeded to say, “thanks, I am a bomber.” I immediately realized what I said and tried to fix it and said, “I am a bomber in a green jacket.” That didn’t sound much better and I just kept digging my hole deeper. Finally I said, "Thanks I am wearing a green jacket." I was all flustered as I swore people were looking at me for my outburst of claiming that I was a "bomber."

Then I got the lucky seat next to someone who was sick. I heard her talking on the phone before take off and said. "oh Timmy sorry I didn't get to see you Auntie was really sick." So I tried to take a nap and she kept coughing and sneezing and moaning. She looked like she had the flu or pneumonia and then I used my ER skills and tried to convince myself that she wasn't sick but detoxing. Anyway I sat there for about an hour and a half and the guy next to me kept giving me the. "why the hell would you fly if you are this sick look." I gave him back the, "I know what you are thinking....I am also annoyed as hell and better not get sick look." At this point I looked across the ailse at Andrew and there he sat smiling, enjoying his snack and watching tv. It was like the episode on Seinfeld where Jerry is sitting in first class and Elaine is in coach.

Finally, I excused myself to the bathroom and say to the stewardess, "Are there any open seats because I think the lady next to me is dying." "DYING" she exclaims as panic crosses her face. "Oh I didn't mean dying....I mean she is really sick." So I move seats and as soon as I sit down the lady started throwing up and people start yelling and then the stewardess comes over the loud speaker and says that there is a medical emergency going on and asks if anyone is a doctor to help the same woman I just left. I never found out what was wrong with her just knew that I didn't want to be sitting next to her. I knew she was sick but didn't know she was so sick she needed medical attention.


So note to self do not use terms like bomber or a passenger is dying while flying. People tend to take those words literally.....trust me!