Follow your Heart

About a month ago I had a patient that I really took a likening to. I talked to the family members a couple of times on the phone and they followed up in our office.   Well she came back in about two weeks after being discharged.  I saw her Sunday night and she lost all of her spunk from when I first met her a month prior.  It was amazing how fast she went downhill in such a short time. 

 It seems that some of our "elderly friends" come into the hospital with no past medical history and end up leaving with ten or so new diagnoses.  She of course was one of these patients.   I heard the MET team call on Monday morning and then a couple minutes later the code blue.  It is never good when it happens in that order.  I went up to the floor and she had expired.  I saw all of the family in the hallway and I chose to not bother them.  What would I say?  They were in the middle of saying the goodbyes and I didn't want to interrupt such a private moment.  I told myself I would call.  I even called the office to get the sons phone number and of course we didn't have it.  I went through all of my old text messages and found a text from the office to call the son from a week  prior.  So I made a note to call the next day after I gave the family time to "grieve."  I ran it by a couple of people and they said why call????......it might make me look guilty.  So a couple days went by and I didn't call but I continued to think about her and the family.

 Today as I was walking into the hospital I heard my name being called.  A car stopped in the middle of the parking lot and out pops the patients son and he gave me a huge hug.  And guess what?  I knew what to say.  I said,  "I am so so so sorry that your mother passed away.  You and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers for the past week."  He asked what happened?  I honestly have been asking myself this question  for the last week.  I went through her long list of new diagnoses, I ran it by my doctor, we talked about what possibly could have happened.  My conclusion is that someone on the other side was ready for her.  And guess what............ her husband died about six weeks ago.   It is very hard to explain.  We have all of these medical advances but when it is someones time to go we can't do anything to stop them.  Death can be cheated but sooner or later it seems like it catches up to the person.  Maybe it is coincidence but maybe it is something more to think about.  So I took off my clinician hat and said, "we all tried really hard to make her better and once one issue was resolved something else would occur.  Maybe it was her time."   And you know what?  He thanked me.

I learned a very valuable lesson this week and that is to always follow your heart.  Even when you don't know what to say it is amazing how we all hurt the same and sometimes even the simple, "I am sorry for your loss" makes a difficult time a little bit easier.