Living in the Now

I don't understand why it is so hard for me to live in the now and appreciate all that I currently have.  I have always been this way......always thinking about the next day and the day after......bigger and better.  



It is a vicious cycle.....I used to do it during PA school......once I graduate, once I have a job, when I am married, when......when.....when...... then I will be happy.   Guess what I am still doing it.  Once I pay off this much in student loans,  when we move, when Andrew gets promoted, when my job is more secure I will be happy.  


It doesn't help that I am also a chronic worrier.  The worst part about it is I am worrying about things that are not in my control and stuff that isn't even happening at the moment.  What about if I buy a new car and gas prices go through the roof and then, Andrew loses his job and then I lose mine and then we become homeless and carless because we couldn't afford all of our purchases.  Hello......is this anyway to live?   Seriously this is stuff I think about on a daily basis.  I drive myself crazy as well as my sweetie.

So imagine the delight that I had when I read the message from the universe this week.............



When you don't know what you want, Marquis, it's probably time to begin enjoying what you have.

You've done so well for yourself,
    The Universe



This universe is on to something.  It was sort of like my "ahh haa" moment.   It was exactly what I needed to hear.  I have no idea what I want, where I want to live, what I want to drive, how many kids I want or don't want, where I want to work, what I want to do, etc.   Instead of worrying about all of this stuff that is in the future.......I need to start enjoying all that I currently have and living in the NOW.  Pretty powerful message.   I still struggle on a daily basis but at least I am conscious of my ridiculousness and sometimes that is the first step.